


Never have I ever

by XenaHime53



Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV), Twilight (Movies)
Genre: Cullen Bashing, Edward Cullen Bashing, Eventual Smut, Mates, Mind Control, Mind Control Aftermath & Recovery, Multi, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-11
Updated: 2015-07-11
Packaged: 2018-04-08 20:51:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,786
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4320234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/XenaHime53/pseuds/XenaHime53
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bella Swan had enough of being controlled by Edward and Alice. Through with being a puppet and her unwanted eighteenth birthday party had been the last straw. Leaving to Mystic Falls, Bella finds that there are things besides 'Cold Ones' to be feared. Tied to Silas and Klaus with a mating bond, she can't help but wonder when the drama will end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never have I ever

Sydney Smith once said, "Every substantial grief has twenty shadows and most of the shadows are of your own making." And while I agree with that quote, to a certain extent, I believe that things happen that no matter how hard you wish to - you can't control.

 

Going to Forks, Washington was my own doing. Making the most of it even though I didn't like the loss of sunshine that Phoenix, Arizona held in promise was my own doing as well. I never believed in anything out of the ordinary, of the supernatural. I always was a rational person, an old soul grown up to fast because of my scattered brain of a mother. Someone had to worry about the bills, the car, food, and everything in between that we needed in our way of living.

 

That was, until Edward Cullen saved me - little, clumsy everyday me with the name of Bella Swan - that one day of being squished by a truck of a fellow student that simply hit the ice wrong. It was an accident, the day before it was raining hard just like I had expected in Forks when I came here, but the cold weather made everything a death trap.. especially for someone as clumsy as me.

 

I watched, almost on autopilot and in disbelief as he not only moved from one side of the parking lot to the other in record timing but he pushed the van away with one hand. Making a dent in it and another in my truck with his shoulder.

 

That was the first day I had seen the copper haired teenager as anything more than a way to prepp outsider of Forks High. He was someone that hated me without even knowing me and I couldn't help but want to play Nancy Drew. I knew he and his family were something... different. In a way that I didn't quiet understand and in aa way that nobody besides myself seemed to wonder.

 

It was a mystery to me. These people were pale beyond anything I had ever seen, all with golden or amber eyes, they didn't hang out with anyone outside of their group. Was it even my business to know? Was it even supposed to be questioned? No one else did.. though no one else ever saw what I saw. Was I making all this up on my own imagination?

 

It turns out though, that I wasn't making it up. Through the events of the attempted assault in Port Angeles that Cullen saved me from, the 'beach' trip to La Push, and the good old internet - led me to believe the impossible. That there was something supernatural, something completely out of the norm going on. Gone were my half assed theories from my old comic books, of radioactive spiders and somehow surviving from being dumped in a special type of acid to have powers like Xmen or something. An alien maybe?

 

And even if none of all this were correct, which was completely possible, at th end of the day what did it mean for me that this weird, impossibly beautiful boy was starting to get obsessed with me? What did it mean for my new friends - for my father?

 

This line of thinking was pushed aside somewhere along the way of looking into his now dark eyes and breathing in his scent. I didn't know how it happened per say, but I found myself drawling closer to him instead of pulling away. Even when I found out he was a vampire - or 'Cold Ones' as the La Push legends called them.

 

I was accepted by their family except for their sister Rosalie, and in time I found myself wishing that I had a mother like Esme Cullen, the caring, sweet mother of this family that was empathic towards people around her. I wished I had a brother like Emmett, protective and was some things I didn't like of course - Alice, the all seeing pixie of the family, insulting my clothing and trying to get me in some preppy, over the top clothing that wasn't me.

 

Nobody moved to stop her, nobody reined her in to respect my choices , so I did it on my own. Aside from that, things were going well with the Cullens. A little too well, they wanted to take up all of my time with me trying to push back from them to find myself again. Space. Time. Freedom. Family. Those were the words on repeat in my mind as I tried to push myself away from Edward.

 

There was a thick cloud covering my mind that I couldn't break through when he or Alice were around me. It made me suspicious and I was sure that the other Cullen family members didn't know because Emmett stuck up for me quite a few times while I caught Rosalie giving Alice or Edward suspicious looks before it was cast away. Making me think it was, again, my imagination.

 

I should be grateful, and I am in many ways. They saved me from a psychotic nomad looking for a human playful to toy with. Stopping the change of becoming one of them after James bit into one of my wrists some time after he lured me to him, telling me he had my mother when he only stole some video tapes of me when I was younger.

 

The following months that took place in my old ballet studio that my mother tried to get me to do as one of her hobbies, were both long and tense. Edward, sucking the venom out of my body and refusing to let go, became both possessive and uncontrollable. My opinions didn't matter to him and my lips were tightly sealed no matter how much I fought to open them.

 

My eighteenth birthday is when things really took a turn for the worst. I woke up feeling sick to my stomach, the more I was around Edward the more I seemed to be slowly loosing my mind. And in turn : myself. I couldn't speak up, I couldn't push back, my vocal cords weren't working unless I was asked a direct question and even then it was more of a revised, Edward would certainly approve answer.

 

I didn't want a party. I didn't want to be forced into a dress from Alice that was itchy and uncomfortable. I didn't want to plaster a wide, convincing smile on my face that looked pleasant after perfecting it in the mirror. It happened anyway it seemed, right from under my nose. I wasn't this unobservant and I wondered what was happening to me. One second I was sitting on my bed listening to Nirvana blasting through my headphones and the next I was walking down the grand stair case in a short, dark green dress that was uncomfortable in both mental price tag and material. The only thing I liked was the flats on my feet. Seems they all finally got a clue not to put me in heels, thank the lord above.

 

Some things though, as I said in the beginning, are completely out of your control. I went to open up the envelope that Alice gave to me, tickets for two to fly down to visit my mother in Phoenix, when I got a small paper cut. I looked at Alice confused, wondering why after she gave it to me, she skipped to Jasper and pulled him backwards.

 

Then.. it all made sense. The memory loss, the black outs, being unable to open my mouth, and everything that had been going on. It was almost funny - in fact I couldn't help but feet more than a tingle of dry amusement on the side with a large plate of rage, frustration and sadnes - to know that most of the Cullens (or at least Edward and Alice) were doing the exact same thing that James was doing.

 

Edward was using me - controlling me - as a toy. He wouldn't change me, wouldn't want me forever because he would loose the smell of my blood. The heaven and hell that came with the temptation for it. He would always put me high on the glass shelf like the doll Alice wanted - expected - me to be. To be seen and not heard. Only taken down for a little while and then put back up again. Fragile and handled with 'care'. He didn't love me even for a moment, toying with me, and it was clear that Alice was helping him.

 

"I don't want you.. to come." He took me out into the deep woods, to break up with me the very next day. Telling me that I was simply a toy, that my mind was a sleeve as a human and that I would forget all about him. What he didn't get because he never knew the real me that he squashed down to become his puppet, was that I was never like any other human being.. and even if I was? The bite mark on my wrist was a reminder of just how much my life was twisted.

 

He didn't care that he left me behind for Victoria to find. That I would be chucked in an asylum, a room that was padded before the Volturi came to kill me, if I ever spoke the truth. He used me, distanced me from my father, my friends that I made here and it pissed me off in more ways than one to know that he was getting away with it. That they both were.

 

Sam ended up finding me and bringing me home after hours of stumbling through the dark. I had a feeling that if the Cold Ones were true in the legend, that the wolf part of it was true as well. Sam's bare chest was too warm to be normal, even if I was close to having hypothermia and couldn't feel my fingers or toes anymore.. but I couldn't stay to find out. I couldn't stay in Forks knowing that everything I do from this point onwards would be something watched carefully.

 

I didn't want the looks of pity. The fear in people's eyes that when talking with someone I would break down any second. I needed to go and find myself again, something that was stripped away from me painfully, in pieces.

 

That was why I was currently on a plane once more, except it wasn't to Phoenix, it wasn't to my mother. It was to live with my cousins Elena and Jeremy Gilbert. It was what I needed. A fresh, clean break... I could only hope though that Mystic Falls, Virginia had a lot less drama than Forks, Washington did.

 

...


End file.
